


Stockholm's Syndrome

by YooJinBae9094



Category: B.A.P
Genre: CEO Bang Yongguk, Criminal Yoo Youngjae, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rape, References to Depression, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2020-10-30 05:22:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20809226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YooJinBae9094/pseuds/YooJinBae9094
Summary: ⟪You bring out the beast in meI fell in love from the moment we kissedSince then we've been history⟫The last thing he saw was a pair of black and cold eyes, through the window.And then, dark.⟪They say that love is foreverYour forever is all that I needPlease stay as long as you needCan't promise that things won't be brokenBut I swear that I will never leavePlease stay forever with me⟫





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know what I'm doing.  
I'm sorry.
> 
> Also, English is not my first language, so please forgive my mistakes.

**Prologue.**

* * *

It'd been 2 hours since he had started to run. 2 fucking hours since he had his hands on that wallet, that ugly old lady had immediately called the police, who had now reached him and chased him throughout the city. 

By now he was lost of his breath. He had dropped the stolen goods a long time ago. A couple of wedges and some saints weren't worth it. 

Turned a corner, unfortunately, he found an impasse, the cops a few meters from him. With a last desperate move, he tried to climb over the 6 feet high wall. Meanwhile, the policemen, behind him, had started to shoot empty, with the intent to stop him, but one bullet hit him in the leg, making him ruinously fall to the ground, with a chocked screaming.

All of a sudden, from the beginning of the road, it was heard a screech of wheels, a car stopped behind the cops. A man in suit and tie with a pair of dark sunglasses left the passenger seat of the car and raising a hand he made the armed men stop, who retreated. 

The scared boy was trying to dab the bloody wound; he was looking around trying to understand what was happening.

Another man exit the car, he was wearing the same outfit as the first one, but for the guy, they were just two indistinct stains, because of clouded sight due to the pain. The two men, once close enough, examined the boy then take and carry him to the car.

The last thing he saw was a pair of black and cold eyes, through the window.

And then, dark.

* * *


	2. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean to disappear like this. But I had lack of inspiration sooooo  
By the way  
Here comes the first real chapter, I hope you'll enjoy it!  
See you at the end of it~

I.

_⟪I walked across an empty land_

_I knew the pathway like the back of my hand_

_I felt the earth beneath my feet_

_Sat by the river and it made me complete_

_Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?_

_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on⟫_

**("Somewhere Only We Know" - Keane)**

* * *

When he opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was how much white was around him. As soon as his senses came back to him, he was trying to understand where he was, the only thing he knows is that he has never been here before. It wasn't a hospital room. He was been in there before, and it looked and smelled in a particular way. The one in which he is now is a half-empty bedroom, with white and vacant furniture. It is one of those left to themselves rooms in a house as big as empty. 

He was laying in a canopy full-size bed, definitely much more comfortable than the dirty mattress on the floor he's been sleeping for 3 years. At each side of the large bed, two big open windows let in the dazzling light of the sun, and a light breeze made the white curtain flutter. 

Around him, everything was quiet and incredibly silent. He has never heard such silence in his whole life. It was so relaxing being in there, in that strange place. place.

Becoming addicted to the torpor of the big bed and the tranquillity that were around you, he closed his eyes and sighed. In a few seconds, he was already collapsed in the arms of Morpheus; he dreamed about grass, sun and a pair of dark deep eyes.

***

After about 2 hours, he woke up again because of a painful twinge in the leg, in the same moment, he heard someone sit beside him and two voices whispering to each other something he couldn’t understand. As soon as he opened his eyes, he’s blinded by strong light in the room, for which he had to blink his eyelids several times to be able to resume his view and focus the room around him.

The first thing he saw was a bush of raven hair styled in ringlets that surrounded the face of a strange man with a pair of eyes strangely familiar.

At first sight, Youngjae, looking at him, he could do nothing but think  _ Handsome _ . 

After several seconds of as intense as strange contemplation between the two of them, the stranger cleared his throat, looking away.

“In short, - deciding to stop the silence created in the room, the strange spoke, and the other, as soon as he heard him speaking, he thought about how much deep, and at the same time sweet, his voice sounded - I saw you running from a couple of policemen, at some point you got shouted in a leg and 

passed out. I brought you here and got you medicated, so from now on you’re under my protection. Don’t rustle too much, because what I’ve done is not free, so, in a way or another you have to repay me. As soon as I found out which way”.

After this he paused for a little, meanwhile, he took some moments to look at the boy, who only then could sense the coldness and austerity the person in front of him was able to transmit with his only presence. 

“Mine name is Bang Yongguk, you can call me Mr. Bang. At the moment you are at my mansion, in one of the guest rooms. Right after I take you here, you’ve been visited by the most qualified doctors in this town, they took the bullet out and bandaged your leg. in any case, you’re completely out of danger and you should be healed soon. You understand?”.

Youngjae nodded.

“Perfect. Now. I assumed that, after you’ve been sleeping for more than 18 hours, you should be hungry. So I made you make porridge by the cook” said that Yongguk leans towards the nightstand to take a tray and pose it on the legs of the boy.

“Enjoy your meal”.

Youngjae, surprised, in the beginning, could only alternate the look from the other to the plate in front of him. Taken courage, he can open his mouth to whisper a faint “Thank you”, impeded by a severe burning in his throat, probably caused by the long sleep.

After the first spoon, he tasted the good food prepared for him. He hadn’t eaten for too long, they could give him any crap and he would like it. After that, taken from an exaggerated hunger, he started to eat with fury, under the emotionless sight of the other guy in the room.

“Well, maybe you were more than hungry. So, can you tell me your name now?”.

After he swallowed the last spoon of porridge and cleaned his mouth, the guy answered:

“I’m Youngjae. Yoo Youngjae”.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo here we go, the two of them finally met for the first time eheheh  
I hope you're all curious about what YJ has to do to repay "Mr.Bang"  
You will find out soon, I promise.  
Stay tuned!
> 
> P.S thanks for all of you who left kudos, this humble girl is really grateful.   
Feel free to leave a comment, y'all!   
Any critique or advise is well accepted~


	3. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm bAAACK  
And this time I've got... guess what?  
A long chapter.  
I'm so proud of myself this time!
> 
> Enjoy and tell me what you think^^

**II.**

* * *

《And_ I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

_Let him know that you know best_  
_Cause _after_ all, you do know best》_

—["How to save a life", The Fray]—

* * *

Two weeks passed since that day. During that period of time, Youngjae had no way of seeing his savior, neither once, not even by chance. From what he could understand from the frenzy of the men who came and went from the manor (he saw them when during the afternoons he sat on the right window’ sill, his favorite place), and from the chatters, that he could hear, of the households, the man had to be a businessman, who was also definitely very rich, but this could well be seen by the luxury from which he was surrounded. During his stay in that house, the boy had remained for most of the time imprisoned in his room, watched by a guard 24/7 out of the door; he had permission to go out for two hours per day, that he passed exclusively walking in the garden. The only human contact that he had were the couple of phrases that he exchanged with the maiden who, during mealtime brought him food, three times a day.

After all, it was not that bad, he didn’t feel like a prisoner; on the opposite, he felt like in heaven. Never in all his life, he’s been treated like that, he had nothing to worry about. He had a roof on his head, a hot meal every day, everything he needed, that often in the past he had to deprive himself. Instead, he started to get bored, he had nothing to do, because of this, he found himself searching hidden treasures in furniture. And he found some. In the cupboard, on the upper shelves, he found three dusty books. Unfortunately, he had attended school only until 2nd grade, for this reason, he had never learned to read well, no matter how hard he tries. 

At his house, he had some that he exclusively used to exercise, but he had never understood what they were talking about. But, from the covers, the joyful colors and the big writing, it would be easy to get that those were books for children. 

So he had spent time reading and deciphering them. After two weeks, he had read them more than once, they were three tales in which there were princesses, and magic, and love, from what he could understand, he had heard about those things before, but love… never. What was it? 

He found himself learning by heart the titles and he had told everything he had understood to his new friend, a stuffed bunny that he had found in the old settle and the end of the bed, the only piece of furniture that wasn't white in that room. _ The little mermaid _ , _ Cinderella _ , and _ The Beauty and the Beast _, his favorite was totally the last one, he didn't know why, but he was more affectionate to that, even though he couldn't understand it completely. 

So this was his life during those days, closed in that tiny world of his, to which he had begun to get used to. Until one day, one of the men that often came and went from the house, knocked at his door to tell him that _ Mr. Bang _ wanted to see him and that he was waiting at his office. 

After exactly 5 minutes, he was in front of a big mahogany door on the first floor. He was dressed, for the first time after a long time, with neat and clean clothes without any holes, a white shirt and black tracksuit pants, both of two larger sizes, that was given to him with a clean pajama the same day he woke up for the first time in the house. 

Nervous, he licked his lips and with a trembling hand he knocked at the heavy door, that was open after moments later by nothing less than by Bang Yongguk himself, completely dressed in black, with his lacquered curls and the inevitable stern and distant gaze. 

Without saying anything, the latter stepped aside to let the other enter the office.

“Good afternoon, Youngjae”, said the man while he closed the door behind him, and then go and sit at his desk.

The room, as opposed to his in which Youngjae was sleeping, was completely furnished on the tones of black and grey, in contrast with the white walls. It was spacious, probably the effect was also given by the big windows on the opposite side of the door, behind the ebony desk, which was exactly at the center of the room. In front of it, two armchairs, obviously uncomfortable, of fake black leather. On the two side walls there were two identical bookcases in walnut wood, half-filled with books. At the right corner, there was a small sofa, in fake black leather too and at the opposite side a console in fake antique style with a wide assortment of liqueurs.

Youngjae was lost watching the room so much that he didn’t hear the greetings from the other.

Who was watching him, interrogative.

“Oh… good afternoon to you too, Mr. Bang” he smiled shyly, looking down for a few moments “it’s been a while since the last time we saw each other” he added, and then continued looking around, approaching the desk.

“Yeah, well, sorry about that. I’ve been really busy. I hope you found yourself comfortable being there these days” answered Yongguk, meanwhile he leafs through some pages lazily.

“Yes, I had a great time, sir.”

“Good” he took a little break, to then look up to the boy, as he brought both hands to his lips, crossing them. “When you came, I sent one of my men to make some research on you. This morning I received the results. And I have to say this, I found them really interesting” for the first time, Youngjae could see a hint of humanity in that man when he saw his smile slightly at those words. But he couldn’t rejoice in it, he didn’t like to remember his past, despite having to deal with it every day. So, firstly he stayed silent, simply approaching the window to see the landscape from that point of view.

“I’m not really proud of it”

“There is said,” Yongguk started, ignoring his answer “that your mother committed suicide when you were 6 and that you have lived with your stepfather ever since until you killed him when you were 13. You were at the reformatory till you were 18… then you have some other charges for theft and minor crimes… well, remarkable.”

“As I said, I’m not proud of my past. But we are not here to discuss it. Am I right?”

“Exactly,” said the other placing the sheets in a drawer, then he stands up to reach Youngjae’s side at the window, putting his hand in his suit pocket; “in reality, I don’t give a shit about your story, but it was necessary to know with who I was dealing with, before meddling with you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you remember when I told you you should pay me back for saving you from the cops, right?” he waited for the other to nod before continue, “here, during these days I thought about the way you’ll do it. And pay attention to this” he paused himself to go pour himself a cup of Bourbon at the console, “this is not a proposal you can turn down.”

The boy shrugged, turning to him “I never doubted the contrary” he smirked to the floor, he returned to the desk and sat on it, without leaving Yongguk gaze, who continued: “I like that we are on the same wavelength. So, as you might have guessed, I’m a man full of commitments and responsibility. I have no time or will to find myself someone with who entertain me, but I also need to satisfy some needs, if you know what I mean.”

Youngjae chuckled, shaking his head “Aish… I should have expected this” with a little smile he looked at him “So this is why you didn’t mention _ it _ before.”

The older one finished the last sip of amber liquid left in his cup and grinned “It really surprised me. I never expected a guy like you to prostitute.”

He shrugged, again. “Must find a way to live.”

“I guess so.”

“So, now that we’ve cleared the fact that from now on I’m like… your whore, can I leave?”

“If you mean that you can leave the office, of course” Mr. Bang answered, going back to sit “But from today onwards you’re going to live here so that I can have you at my disposal whenever I want to.”

“Really?! Can I stay?” the boy jumped on his feet, he seemed almost happy by the news.”

“Exactly. In the following days, you will be escorted to your house so that you can retrieve your stuff. Until then I will send to you some other clean clothes.”

Youngjae nodded vigorously.

“Now you can leave, I’ve a lot of work to do” he dismissed him. He walked towards the door, but since his hand was on the handle, he was stopped: “Tonight at 9 in my room. Don’t be late.”, the other added without looking away fr

om the packet of sheets he was reading.

“Sure, Mr. Bang” was the last thing Youngjae said before leaving the office.

  
  
  



	4. III.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, HI I'M BACK finally.  
Sorry for the absence, you know, holydays took me.  
And here it is the new chapter. It isn't exactly like I wanted it, but if I wanted to write anything that I had in mind it would've ended up being too long. So I split it in two-part. I hope to be able to write the next as soon as possible (I plan to publish it within Sunday or Monday, but I can't promise anything!)  
Enough talking, I leave you to the third chapter!

III.

* * *

> **《 **Everything is quiet  
Except for all the voices in my head  
That says your name  
Tonight I'm letting go  
About to give in

> I surrender myself  
Into the arms of a beautiful stranger  
I surrender myself to you** 》**

［"I Surrender" **ㅡ **Saybia］

* * *

That evening arrived particularly early. Immediately after having dinner, Youngjae went to the master’s room, downstairs. He wasn’t really surprised when he was how empty and lifeless it was, it reflected perfectly its owner. After all, it wasn’t that different from his own, the only details were the black sheets of the bed and the mirror beside the ensuite bathroom’s door. He laid down on the bed, he had arrived very early compared to what was agreed, but he didn’t have that much to do instead.

Staring at the ceiling, he began to reflect. Since he’d left Mr. Bang’s office he was thinking about different things:

_ What would exactly happen that night? Would he hurt him? Or ask him to do something weird? _

At that last thought shivered, he was used to that kind of life, but for him Yongguk was unpredictable. He didn’t know what to expect. Deep down he was almost afraid. Another part of him, instead, was sadistic curious.

His train of thoughts was interrupted when the door opened to reveal the source of all his doubts. The latter, once he entered the room and closed the door behind him, he loosened his tie and took off his jacket, and, without even looking at the other man in the room, he began to unbutton his shirt and went to the bathroom’s door. 

“I’m going to have a bath. Do you want to join me?” he asked at his back entering the room.

The other, that until then had remained still and silent, sitting on the edge of the bed watching him, without answering followed him.

After about five minutes both of them were in the bathtub, surrounded by abundant scented foam, sit in one in front of the other, with their legs that barely touched. Their looks never met even by accident; all around them, it was an almost embarrassing silence.

After a while, Yongguk broke the quiet, finally looking at the younger.

“Come here.”

Hearing that, Youngjae acted by instinct, he came close to the man until he ends up sitting on his lap. Still looking at him, Yongguk raised a hand on the boy’s face, caressing it with the light touch of two fingers. Like he wanted to memorize every single detail of it.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Not on the lips, it’s my only condition.”

The man shrugged his shoulders, “Whatever then”.

Saying this he continued caressing him, going down on his neck and tracing his profile. He came closer and he replaced the fingers with his lips, kissing and biting the milky flesh, while he took his hand to caress all his entire body; the abdomen, the back, the hips, trying to relax him. 

Youngjae at that point sighed and bit his lips, he took his arms around Yongguk’s neck and he held tight to him, creating a kind of friction between them.

Both moaned. Yongguk took his hands on the other’s butt, squishing it, while he continued working with his mouth on his neck, leaving a hickey or two. 

He slowly took one finger at his little hole, provoking a shiver on the boy's back. He didn't waste time, and he penetrated him with his finger, then two, and three. Youngjae moaned loudly against Yongguk's shoulder, opening his legs wider as much as he could've. 

So they ended up making sex there and then. It has been nothing like Youngjae’s thought, it wasn’t been that bad, anything but that. Actually, for a moment he thought that Yongguk was trying to force himself to be as “sweet” and “gentle” as he could’ve. But despite that, from both of them no emotion had arisen, neither positive or negative. It has been pure and simple sex, nothing more nothing less, and it was good for him.

Later, they found themselves lying on the bed. The silence was back, stronger than before. Right before falling asleep, Youngjae turned to the other, who, at the same time, turned to look at him. They spent several moments looking into each other’s eyes, maybe to find something to say. But nothing came. Yongguk limited himself to tuck the youngest, then he laid on one side, giving his back to Youngjae. Who, instead, stayed turn to him, he cuddled himself under the sheets and smiled briefly, noticing how they were soaked with the other piercing smell. In a few seconds, he fell asleep, and for him, that night was quiet and without any nightmares.

For Yongguk was quite the opposite, he couldn’t sleep a wink most of the night, like, in the end, happened almost every night.

The morning after, Youngjae woke up in an empty bed, he sighed and sit, when he turned around he found Yongguk sitting on the sill, smoking. At first, surprised, he limited himself to just look at him, who clearly didn't notice his waking up, lost in his thoughts. But then he whispered, enough loudly to be heard:

"Good morning" 

Yongguk finally turned to him with his cold-like-always stare, answering after a little pause of silence. 

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" he took a throw. 

"Mmh yes, more or less." 

"I see, you look horrible by the way." 

"Really? Wow, thanks." Youngjae answered, sarcastically, at the last sentence, looking away and trying to fix his hair, while the other chuckled and shuddered, turning off his cigarette. He stood up and walked to his wardrobe, he opened it and searched for something to wear, like he didn't wear the same outfit every day. He took some clothes and closed himself in the bathroom. 

At that point, Youngjae didn't know what to do. _ Should he stay and wait? Leave without saying anything? _

In the end, he chooses to follow the first thought, so he stayed in the bed enjoying the hot and comfy sheets. 

When Yongguk exited, he looked at him through the mirror, while doing his tie. 

"Are you still here?" 

"Yes" answered the boy with a sleepish voice "Can I stay here like… forever?"

Yongguk chuckled, "Of course you can, but take a shower sometimes. I don't like stinky persons in my bed." 

"You don't like persons, period." the other punctuated raising a hand in the air, without showing up through the sheets. 

"You have a point", he finished fixing himself, then headed to the door "I'm going to work, see you tonight." and exited. 

It was weird, Youngjae thought, _ that was really Mr. Bang? He seemed a completely different person. He was much more peaceful, much more normal. If he had known before that a fuck would’ve had this effect on him, he would have been granted much earlier. _

He thought, laughing to himself.

He was going to get used to it, but in that exact moment, the comfort and the hot of the bed get the better from him and brought him back into the arms of Morpheus.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!  
Let me know what do you think and thank you all for the support.  
See you soon!


	5. IV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT.  
Well... actually I promised to post this on Monday, but it took me a while.  
Because when I started writing it, inspiration hit me with a truck :)  
In fact, it's very long this time. I'm really proud of myself and this chapter, I think it's my favorite so far.  
I hope you'll like it, as much as I liked to write it.

IV.

* * *

If we could see tomorrow, what of your plans?

No one can live in sorrow, ask all your friends  
Times that you took in stride, they're back in demand  
I was the one who was washing blood off your hands

Don't you cry tonight.

["Don't cry" - Guns 'N Roses]

* * *

Within a few days, the two entered into a quiet and satisfying routine. They saw each other regularly every evening after dinner to do their business, they spent the night together and left the morning after. With time, however, they learned to also enjoy each other company. They started to spend time together, even during the day, simply chattering or at least spending time in the same room, scaring looks occasionally, in religious silence.

One day, Yongguk decided to show something that in his opinion the other would’ve to appreciate a lot.

_ “Why all this mystery?” Youngjae said, covering his eyes with his hands, while was driven by Yongguk holding a hand on his back. _

_ “I told you, it’s a surprise.” the other answered. _

_ “Okay, weirdo. Stop being so awkward, you’re scaring me.” _

_ “Don’t be such a drama queen. C’mon, we’re almost there.” When he stopped talking, it could be heard the sound of a door being opened. _

_ “Do you remember when I talk to you about my mother, and how she was in love with books, right?” he used a low tone like he wanted to be heard only by Youngjae, although they were the only ones in that wing of the house. _

_ “I guess I remember something, yes. But what does that have to do with anything?” the other answered, curious. _

_ “I noticed how much you like this hobby too, despite you can’t even read properly or understand what you’re reading. So, I thought that you might like this. Since I’m pretty tired of having to read you the same three stories over the last few days”, the older said, driving him at the center of the new room “Here it is, now you can open your eyes”. _

He’d taken Youngjae to the library of the villa, his mother’s favorite room when she was alive. Youngjae was really surprised and happy, he didn’t stop to thank him for at least 10 minutes while walking through the numerous shelves containing hundreds of volumes of all kinds and sizes. It was a collection that was in possession of Yongguk’s family from generations and contained from the most famous classics to the rare and often forgotten ones. For him, it made a certain effect to return to that room after so many years, but seeing that look in the boy’s face, made it worth it.

He didn’t clearly understand what Youngjae was doing to him, but being around the youngest, made him feel incredible… good. As he had not felt for a long time. 

In any case, in the end, Youngjae almost never left that room. When he wasn’t with Yongguk, he was always there, to browse every day a new book. More than ones he had revealed at the other how much he wanted to read and understand them. You could see from a mile hoe smart that guy was and he was constantly looking for knowledge. He wanted to learn as much as he could about the world he was living in. _ And it’s a gift of the few. _

So much that Yongguk decided to hire a private teacher for him, to teach him the basics so he could take back what he had left by stopping go to school. The results were immediately noticeable. He was like a sponge, he absorbed everything that was explained to him, immediately. He was fascinating.

These were just some of the thoughts that crowded Yongguk’s mind that night. Almost two months had passed since he’d mitted that boy for the first time. Now, both of them were laying on the bed. Youngjae was blissfully asleep near him, he was laying on his stomach, with his head turned towards him, lips slightly apart, covered by the sheets up to the hips, leaving his upper body uncovered, to the cold of the night.

‘Cold’ just to say, since summer had come.

Probably it was something around 3 a.m, Yongguk hadn’t slept a wink yet, he limited himself to observing the sleepy figure near him while he was submerged by his thoughts.

During the time spent together he could learn some things about the boy, he almost could’ve said that he knew him. But deep inside he knew that there was a lot more to learn.

For this reason, the morning after, he made a decision and call him in his office.

“Do you want to see me?” Youngjae asked when he entered.

Yongguk stand from his chair, “Exactly” he answered and then came close to him.

“Prepare yourself, we’re going out.”

“Really? And where are we going?”, Youngjae looked surprised by the news, perhaps because he didn’t go out in the world for two months.

“We’re going to your house, to take your things.”

The car trip was rather quiet, the two of them sit on the back of a black Rolls Royce with tinted windows. Every now and then Youngjae’s voice could be heard who was indicating to the driver which road to take. 

Within a quarter of an hour, they arrived exactly on the opposite side of the city, in a very bad suburban area. At least two buildings on three were “abandoned” and could barely stand, probably most of them were occupied by squatters by who had nowhere to go. 

As they proceeded slowly through those streets, the locals stopped to look at that visibly expensive car, with a strange look in their eyes.

Suddenly, at some point, Youngjae said the driver to stop, they have arrived in front of his building. It was a construction a bit falling down, a building of six floors, in brick, with the walls full to half height of graffiti, some windows were broken, others walled, no fire escape.

“I can go by my own, I don’t have that much to take,” Youngjae said taking off his seat belt and opening the door. 

“No” Yongguk answered straight after, getting out of the car “I’m going with you”, then he turned to the driver “Himchan, you stay here, we’ll be right back. Watch out for the car.”

“Tsk, as if I’m going to put even a hair out of here.” the latter responded, irritated, making the other two giggle while going to the door.

They went up to the fourth door and reached apartment number 10. Youngjae raised a corner of the doormat and took the key below, he put it in the lock and entered.

“Do you even have a key for this place?” Yongguk underlined in shock, raising an eyebrow.”

“Of course, I don’t want some strangers to come at my place and going through my things,” Youngjae said, stepping in the apartment.

Maybe “apartment” wasn’t the most suitable word, since it was a one-room of not even 30 square meters. It was much dustier than one would expect to be an uninhabited house of two months. There was a dirty and half-broken mattress, on the floor below the only window, near it a pile of books. There was a sink with a dish and a mug still dirty. A little fridge detached from the current and emanating a nauseating smell. There were some clothes hung on crutches on a hunger half rusty. What was to be considered a bathroom was in the corner attached to the sleeping area, consisting of only one toilet. 

And here it was. What was home for Youngjae, until now.

This latter, without saying anything, visibly embarrassed for the condition of that place, moved quickly inside the room to take what he needed, that were, some clothes, a framed photo hidden under the pillow, and the pile of books near the bed.

“We can go now,” he said without raising his look and stepping closer to the door.

Yongguk until then had stood still in the center of the room looking around. Without noticing any impression of disgust or anything.

“How long did you live here alone?” he said, ignoring the other’s words and approaching the window holding his hands in the pockets.

“Since I leave the reformatory, so… six years.”

Without turning, Yongguk continued “You’ve lived here alone for six years… How did you survive?”.

“Luck, I guess.” the other answered by shrugging his shoulders.

At that point, Yongguk turned, looking him into the eyes, with his usual serious expression, “Why did you end up in juvie?”.

Youngjae immediately looked down, he put the things in his hands on the fridge, they weren’t going to live that soon as he thought, clearly. “You know why,” he said with a tough voice. 

“Yes, but I want to know why you did it.” the other insisted, “Why did you kill your stepfather?”.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Youngjae continued, with a wavering voice, almost on the brink of tears. He crossed his arms at the chest as if to hug himself, keeping his eyes away from the older. 

“And instead we’ll talk about it.” Yongguk responded, almost pissed “I feel that you’re hiding something to me, and I don’t like when things get hidden to me. So, talk, now.” at the silence received from the boy, he snapped “Youngjae. Why did you kill that man?”.

“Because he hurt me!” Youngjae blurted it out, finally raising his stare into the other’s and looking him with red eyes, full of tears.

Yongguk didn’t decompose himself, he looked at him and sighed. He took a long pause, he went to sit on the edge of the mattress, signaling the boy to do the same. Youngjae even if, at the start was a bit hesitant, sat near him, looking at his feet and playing with his fingers, a clear sign of nervousness.

At that point, Yongguk continue: “What do you mean by that? What did he do to you?” he asked, trying to use a tone as calmer and sweeter as he could.

Several moments passed by, before Youngjae spoke again, maybe to find the right words, maybe to find the courage to bring out what had been inside since ever. He wiped the lonely tear that had slashed his cheek, he took a deep breath and start to tell.

“He was never been kind to me, since the beginning. Even though I was little, he beat me for anything. Even for what was not my fault. My mother tried to stop him, more than once, but she wasn’t strong enough. In every sense. I always heard them fight, yelling at each other, pulling objects against each other. Every time it ended with my mother crying or passed out after the beating. Then a day, things took an exaggerated turn, they had gone further than usual. Or rather, he had done it. And she didn’t wake up anymore. According to records, she committed suicide by jumping off the roof, but it’s not like that. He made it look like this. But he was the one who killed her.” he was almost whispering, loud enough to be heard. He took a pause. Yongguk opened his mouth to answer, thinking that he had finished, but he didn’t make in time to emit a breath that the other continued:

“That was only the start. After my mom’s death, he started to treat me almost more kindly. I thought. He complimented me, he caressed me, he gave me attention. Then a day he came to pick me up from school, he told me I’d never go back. Because I had to take my mom's place, and that I had to take care of the house and him. In every sense. So I fell in a sleazy routine in which I didn’t do anything but clean the house, cook. When I knew that he was about to come back I was supposed to be in bed so that I was ready for when he came. He came straight to me, he used to caress me and then everything he wanted. Always like that, every day. For seven years. Until one day, I couldn’t make it anymore. I lay down in bed and took a knife with me, that I hid under the pillow. When he came, as soon as I had the chance, I acted, a blow to the neck. He died right there. I don’t remember anything but a lot of blood. Everything I remember after was the police station. And all that happened after that.” at that point he stopped.

Near him, Yongguk had been petrified, with no words. He had expected everything, but this went far beyond his imagination. After long seconds, maybe minutes, of silence, Youngjae burst into tears.

“I-I had no choice, you know? You have no idea how many times I tried to ask for help or run away. But nobody ever believed me, nobody cared. And he always found me, and every time I disobeyed him he beat me and hurt me more and more. I had no choice.” he tried to wipe the tears that which had begun to fall copiously on his face, and he turned himself towards Yongguk, “P-please, don’t hate me.”

Hearing those words let Yongguk out of that ttrance, who responded immediately: “Hate you? Of course not. I could never. Not for this.” he put an hand on his back, trying to comfort him. But at that touch Youngjae came closer to him, hugging him, and becoming small in his arms, in need of more comfort, vent his tears. Yongguk didn’t know what to do at that point. He wasn’t good at those things. But the instinct led him to surround the small body pressed against him with his own arms, tightening and caressing him in the sweetest way he knew.

Youngjae pressed himself more against him, hiding his face in the crook of his neck and sitting on his lap, trying to find a comfortable position. 

They stayed in that position for some time, even when Youngjae had calmed down. They held each other tight, to enjoy it a little more, or maybe because afraid of what was going to happen after that deep and intimate moment, a new thing for them.

In the end, Yongguk was the first one to broke the hug, not completely, but enough to look at the other’s eyes, dry his face and caress one of his cheeks. Then whispering to him:

“No one is ever going to hurt you again. You have my word.”

  
  


* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... what do you think? Let me know! Every comment is welcome!
> 
> Now, I have to warn you.  
Drama is coming. As much as fluffiness.  
During the next chapter you're going to kill me, I know. But then only hurt a little :D
> 
> Stay tuned!  
See you soon.


	6. V.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK  
Did you miss me?
> 
> okay, it's been a while, and I'm deeply sorry for not posting before.  
but life happened :(  
I leave you to the chapter now, hope you'll enjoy it~

V.

> How much sorrow can I take?  
Blackbird on my shoulder  
And what difference does it make  
When this love is over?  
Shall I sleep within your bed  
River of unhappiness  
Hold your hands upon my head  
'Til I breathe my last breath
> 
> Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me  
The last time that you touched me  
Oh, will wonders ever cease?  
Blessed be the mystery of love
> 
> (Mystery of Love - Sufjan Stevens)
> 
> * * *

The return trip was pretty quiet.

Once Youngjae’s calmed down, without saying anything, Yongguk stood up, hold out a hand to the younger, and after taking everything they had come for, they came back to the car.

Where sitting in the back and looking out of the windows, they were unable to exchange even the smallest glance after sharing such an intimate moment, despite their hands touching, in the empty space between them.

Halfway through the journey, Yongguk could gain enough courage to turn to the other, parting his lips in the process of starting a conversation, discovering however that Youngjae’s fallen asleep with his head supported by the palm of his hand, in a position far away from comfortable. 

At that sight, he closed his mouth to let himself slip a little grin, before passing an arm around the boy’s shoulder, very carefully, and then take him to lie down along the seats, with his head on his lap.

When Youngjae could find the right posture, still asleep, he relaxed into the arms of the man, who meanwhile looked at him gently while stroking his hair.

-

Once back home, since that day the both of them looked like they couldn’t break away from each other. In the following week, in fact, they rarely separated. They slept together every night, they ate together every meal, they took long walks in the garden, side by side, talking about this and that or enjoying the silence around them; when Yongguk had to stay in his office to work, Youngjae remained in the same room, reading a book sprawled in the strangest positions on the armchair in front of the desk, drawing sitting on the man lap while he was using the computer or holding a meeting over the phone, or sleeping on the black couch in the room.

Sunday afternoon, exactly a week after their trip, Yongguk was alone in his office, working, while Youngjae had preferred staying in the library to study for an imminent literature test. The hours of that spring afternoon were passing slowly than usual, Yongguk had pointed out to himself for the second time since he had sat at his desk. After three hours in a row in front of a computer, he had chosen to take a break, to rest his tired eyes, that day he’d also avoided having lunch to be able to finish as soon as possible. 

Relaxed against the back of the chair, he closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, to then hear a slight knock at the door, from where, once open, the head of Youngjae appeared.

“Am I disturbing?”, the latest said, staying in the door.

The other sighed and replied, “Of course not, come in.”

Once he gets permission the boy entered, closing the door behind himself, approaching the desk he continued: “Have you got much longer to go?”

“Why?”

When he arrived at less than a step away from the desk he stopped, and looking down, he put a hand behind his head-scratching the back of his neck, embarrassed.

“Well, while I was making some researches about Homer’s Iliad, I found a book, and reading the introduction it seemed very interesting to me… so, I wanted to ask you… if you would to…”

“...read it for you?” Yongguk finished the sentence for him, raising a brow.

“Yeah.” Youngjae bites his lip, still looking at his toes, “It’s been a while since you’ve done it… and we barely saw each other since this morning so…”

Yongguk sighed again, for the nth time since he woke up that day, but he didn’t answer immediately, thinking about it and the mole of things he still had to do.

“If you don’t want to, it’s fine” Youngjae continued, looking sad, “I can read it alo-” he was interrupted in the middle of the sentence when the other stood up suddenly. 

“Okay, let’s go.” Yongguk asserted, turning off the computer.

-

After about ten minutes later, they were in the garden, lying on a hammock, Youngjae half spread on Yongguk, belly down, head on his chest, eyes closed while he was listening to the older reading aloud. Yongguk held the book in one hand while the other was holding one of the boy’s thigh. 

> _ “I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way, his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.” _

They spent the rest of the afternoon like this. Sometimes they changed position; Yongguk had switched his hands, while Youngjae had led to hide his face in the hollow of his neck and a hand in his hair, their legs entwined. 

> _ “Name one hero who was happy." _

> _ I considered. Heracles went mad and killed his family; Theseus lost his bride and father; Jason's children and new wife were murdered by his old; Bellerophon killed the Chimera but was crippled by the fall from Pegasus' back. _
> 
> _ "You can't." He was sitting up now, leaning forward. _
> 
> _ "I can't." _
> 
> _ "I know. They never let you be famous AND happy." He lifted an eyebrow. "I'll tell you a secret." _
> 
> _ "Tell me." I loved it when he was like this. _
> 
> _ "I'm going to be the first." He took my palm and held it to his. "Swear it." _
> 
> _ "Why me?" _
> 
> _ "Because you're the reason. Swear it." _
> 
> _ "I swear it," I said, lost in the high color of his cheeks, the flame in his eyes. _
> 
> _ "I swear it," he echoed. _
> 
> _ We sat like that a moment, hands touching. He grinned. _

> _ "I feel like I could eat the world raw.” _

At a certain point, they found themselves cheek to cheek, both immersed in reading, so much that they didn’t notice their positions; Youngjae’s arms were around Yongguk’s neck, and the free one of the older was around the younger’s hips.

> _ “I will go,” he said. “I will go to Troy.” _

At that point, Youngjae took the book and closed it. “Enough.”

“Why?” replied the other, “We haven’t even read the half of it.”

The young man shook his head, “I’m afraid…”

“Of what? It isn’t scary…”

“Of the end. I know the end of this, and I don’t wanna read about it after all of this.” saying this he clung to the other again, hiding his face and stiffening.

Yongguk starts to retort again, but then he stopped himself, he limiting to hold him closer and caress his back.

After some minutes, he decided it was time to give voice to what he had been going on since that morning.

“Tomorrow I have to leave, I’m going to stay away for a couple of days.” he sighed and closed his eyes. At that point, Youngjae detached himself enough to look him in the face, taken aback and undecided on how to reply, opening and closing his lips more than once, to then whispering, looking down and blushing: “Can I come with you?”.

Yongguk shook his head, he took a hand to the younger’s face to move a strand of hair behind his ear, “No, I’m sorry, it’s better if you stay here.”

Youngjae heaved and frustrated sigh and sat down, giving his back to him, “How long you will be away?” he said, playing with his fingers, nervous.

“A week.”

Youngjae nodded, taking a deep breath. The two fell into yet another long silence, Yongguk’s gaze on the other’s back.

They were interrupted a bunch of minutes later by a housemaid, came to announce that dinner was ready. 

-

When Yongguk wakes up the next morning, it was still early, so much so that it was still dark outside. Turning on one side, he found Youngjae’s eyes focused on his. They looked at each other for a few moments, until at some point Youngjae came closer, looking away only when the other placed a hand on his cheek, approaching in turn. When their gazes met again, the distance between their faces is minimal, a minimum movement would be enough to make their foreheads touch. Both of them could feel each other’s breath on their skin, their lips almost touched. Youngjae felt his heartbeat accelerate disproportionately, so much he was afraid that the person in front of him could hear it too. 

He had promised to himself, since he was little, that he would kiss on the lips only and exclusively the one who would prove he deserved his affection. 

At that precise moment, so many doubts went around his head. But in the end, he decided to put them apart and let go. He closed his eye, now their lips touched each other.

But just then, Yongguk sat up, and after putting on the shirt of the day before, he stood up and went to shut himself in the bathroom; not before having taken a last look at the figure left in bed. Whose, feeling rejected, had curled up on himself, hiding his face in the pillow.

The black-haired man remained in the shower for a long time, staring at the void, his head full of thoughts in great confusion. Unable to focus on one particular of them, he rested his forehead on the cold wall, feeling the onset of a severe headache.

After about an hour, he finally came out, dried and dressed.

He came closer to the bed once again, where Youngjae had fallen asleep, sprawled on his stomach with an arm tightened around the pillow Yongguk was using shortly before, his head slightly bent on the side, his tousled hair fell on his face, he breathed through his half-closed mouth. At that sight, the man’s headache disappeared.

He would have liked infinitely to be able to go back to sleep next to him, but soon his plane was due to leave. That’s why he limited himself to bent over the young man’s face to leave a little kiss on his cheek and a caress through his hair before living.

-

Later, in the car, Yongguk was reading the latest news on the local newspaper, immersed in a quiet disturbed only by the radio on, which his driver loved to listen to. 

Sometimes Himchan looked up at the rearview mirror to glance at his direction, involuntarily letting a small smile escape.

“What’s so funny?” Yongguk said at a certain point, without looking away from his paper, in an annoyed tone.

“Yesterday I saw you in the garden with the little boy, you seemed to come out from a rom-com. I almost envy you.” the other ended with a little laugh.

Yongguk rolled his eyes and after closing the newspaper, he replied: “What are you talking about?”

“Oh come on, Guk. You can see a mile from afar that you have a soft spot for him. You’re so head over heels to him, pal”

“Stop with this bullshit, ‘pal’” he said the last word with a little sarcasm.

“Whatever. But, you know, you could’ve told me that you get together, I’m your fucking best friend, I wouldn’t have judged.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? We’re not together.” Yongguk replied, raising his voice, annoyed.

“Don’t you dare to use that tone with me, dickhead. You could be my boss, or whatever, but this won’t stop me from kicking your ass.” the other answered in turn, “By the way, I find nothing wrong with admitting it, since that kid arrived you’ve changed. Changed for the better, I mean. It seemed strange to me, that deal thing. But then I realized that, indeed, you liked him. Strange but true. I mean, he’s cute. And it’s pretty clear that you’re not indifferent to him too. Just look at you.”

“Bullshit. We’re. Not. Together.”

“Then stop act as you do. And especially, stop with that stick puppy face as if ‘_ omg I won’t see him for a whole week, what am I gonna do?!’.” _

“Shut the fuck up.” said this, he closes the window that separated him from the front seats, he crossed his arms over his chest and looked out the window, closing the conversation completely.

-

That week passed really slowly, between conferences, meetings, gala and more, Yongguk was fed up. He couldn’t wait to come back home, throw himself on the bed and sleep for someday in a row. And his dream was finally about to come true. Fortunately, his private jet would have taken half the time, compared to an airliner, to get him back home. 

At the airport, he was welcomed by his loyal driver and his beloved car. Another hour and he was going to be at his home, his nest, surrounded by his things, between the arms of one person in particular. Because, yes, even if it’d take a lot to him to admit it to himself, he did miss Youngjae, a lot. And basically, he thought, it was totally normal, after getting used to his constant presence, didn’t having him around for a whole week felt strange to him. But nothing too serious.

Contrary to his expectations though, what was awaiting him at home, it wasn’t a warmly welcome or a comfortable bed to welcome him.

Once he put a foot out of the car, he was assaulted (because this was the right word) by several collaborators of his who evidently didn’t even know how to breathe during his essence. 

So, he was dragged into his office, to solve several issues, and once he was alone, he didn’t get to take a breath for even a second, that the peace was already over.

One of his bodyguards, in fact, without a knock, came in the room, demanding a hearing.

“What it is?”

“It’s about Youngjae, sir.”

-

That morning, Youngjae had woken up in an unusually good mood. Whether it was because of the master return or not, we are not given to know. Thing is, that once he opened his eyes, he had a toothy smile on his face. 

After breakfast, he had a walk in the garden, enjoying the sun which that day was particularly warm. At noon he had geography class, and after lunch, he had gone to the library to search a new book to read. He wasn’t that surprised when, in mid-afternoon, one of the housemaids had come to inform him that the master wanted to see him in the office. He had thanked her with a beautiful smile, to then walk away, almost hopping. Evidently, he hadn’t noticed at all, the concerned look on her face.

Once he was in front of the door, he knocked a couple of times and then he came in without wait for an answer. 

He hadn’t noticed the other three persons in the room, over the subject of his interest, nor the gloomy expression of the latter.

His feelings had blurred his vision, ‘cause no, he hadn’t noticed any of this, nothing strange, nothing different than usual. 

Once he met the gaze of the man he had missed so much, he had melted into another beautiful smile. 

“You’re ba-”

He hadn’t had the time to finish the sentence.

_ You’re back. Finally. I missed you so much. _

He hadn’t even had the time to raise his arms towards him, to hug him.

That a strong blow to his cheek had made him fall disastrously to the ground.

Taking a hand to his swollen cheek he had raised his look, again looking for the other. He couldn’t understand what was happening.

Why had Yongguk slapped him so hard?

Why had he started trembling all of a sudden?

Why did he fell on the verge of tears?

_ He had done nothing. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here it is.  
drama is coming.
> 
> I know that I already said that, but I must say that what happened in this chapter was not planned. I just start writing and get inspired.  
I liked to write this and I am very proud of how it came out.  
I really hope you liked it too.
> 
> P.S  
The book they were reading is "The song of Achilles" written by Madeline Miller. I highly recommend you read it.
> 
> See you soon!


	7. VI.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back?!
> 
> YES ME
> 
> Not now, put down those tomatoes pLEASE
> 
> I had some problems during these last few months.  
But now I'm finally able to post this new brand chapter.
> 
> It was hard to write it down, it took me like one whole week, and it's been like a month to me to finally translating it lmao
> 
> So, sorry for the absence.  
I'll try to be forgiven... sooner or later :D

VI.

“I was feeling insecure

You might not love me anymore

I was shivering inside

I was shivering inside

Oh I didn’t mean to hurt you 

I’m sorry that I made you cry

Oh my I didn’t mean to hurt you

I’m just a jealous guy”

[“Jealous Guy - John Lennon]

Once Youngjae was in front of the door, he knocked a couple of times and then he came in without wait for an answer. He hadn’t noticed the other three persons in the room, over the subject of his interest, nor the gloomy expression of the latter. His feelings had blurred his vision, ‘cause no, he hadn’t noticed any of this, nothing strange, nothing different than usual. Once he met the gaze of the man he had missed so much, he had melted into another beautiful smile. 

“You’re ba-”

He hadn’t had the time to finish the sentence.

_ You’re back. Finally. I missed you so much. _

He hadn’t even had the time to raise his arms towards him, to hug him. That a strong blow to his cheek had made him fall disastrously to the ground. Taking a hand to his swollen cheek he had raised his look, again looking for the other. He couldn’t understand what was happening. Why had Yongguk slapped him so hard? Why had he started trembling all of a sudden? Why did he fell on the verge of tears?

_ He had done nothing.  _

* * *

Youngjae started trembling. He really couldn’t understand what was happening, that situation began to scare him. He already saw, more than once, Yongguk mad, even towards him, but never like this. From his eyes, he could glimpse different emotions, never seen before on him. There was so much anger, but at the same time, there was a delusion, sadness…

What could have happened so badly to make him react in such a way?

Still sitting on the floor, Youngjae thought about that, with his hand still on his swollen cheek. He watched the other from below, trying to figure out what to do. In the span of time that followed a second slap, given on the other cheek, given with such force to make him bend towards the other side. 

At this point, his breathing broke, meanwhile, warm tears started to streak down his face. He still couldn’t understand, but despite this, he sat on his heels, kneeling before his executioner, ready to receive his punishment.

There was a long pause, during which neither of them moved; the silence reigned in that room now become strangely cold. Youngjae kept his head bowed on his hands, that were resting on his legs; he could still feel the moment when Yongguk gestured to go out to the others, those who only then he realized were present.

When they were alone, Yongguk took a deep breath and started to wandering aimlessly inside the room, furious. Youngjae continued to cry in silence, without daring to breath to ask the reason for everything that was happening.

Yongguk eventually ended his wandering, stopping in front of the window, he leaned against it with an arm, until suddenly he turned toward the other and with long strides, he covered the distance between them. Once he was in front of him, he took Youngjae’s jaw with a hand, forcing him to look up to be able to look him in the eye. 

“Why? After everything, I did for you. Why?”

Youngjae kept looking at him with eyes trembling and full of tears, he didn't know how to answer. 

“How could you, uh? I trusted you. But as soon as I left for a miserable week you betrayed me from behind! How could you?!”

Yongguk continued, and for emphasizing his words he slapped him a third time,  making him fall again ruinously to the ground lying on his side. At this point, Youngjae didn’t even try to get up. 

What he was talking about? To betray? Him? He never would have, not to Yongguk.

“Wh-what are you talking about?” - he tried to argue, but when he tried to add more, he was again interrupted by the man.

“Do not try, do not even try to pretend not to know what I’m talking about. You know well. I know everything now, they told me everything. Everything. About you, who at the first opportunity try to slip into the first available bed that you find.”

Youngjae widened his eyes. He could not believe his ears. How could Yongguk say those things to him? What did they tell him?

During all that long and exhausting week he had done nothing but wait and miss the other, he would never have imagined to go around and be a whore. 

Then Youngjae decided that was too much, he tried to sit back down, with the intention of explaining clearly how things really were, that he cared about him too much to ruin the relationship they had just built, that maybe he wanted even something more because it was obvious that the both of them wanted that-

But as soon as he opened his mouth to say what he had in mind at the moment, he felt two hands tighten around his neck, breaking his breath.

Yongguk was looking at him from above, kneeling on top of him, his forehead wrinkled and his eyes full of anger.

“Don’t. Don’t dare. Don’t allow yourself to give breath to that dirty whore mouth you have. To make up an apology. To lie to me again. Because whatever you’ll say, I’m not going to believe you.”

He said this with such slowness and calmness as to increase exponentially the panic in Youngjae’s soul. Who, scared, put his hands on those of the other, trying in vain to free himself from his grip. Unfortunately, that poor attempt didn’t result in anything but the desired result, Yongguk’s hands tighten more around his neck, so much that it almost didn’t allow him to breathe. Then, Youngjae decided to stop fighting it, to let him do everything he wanted. After all, he owned him a lot, he gave him a house, a bed to sleep in, an education…

He took care of him and in his way, he looked after me and cherished for the first time during his life.

If so it had to end, if so he should have died, by the hands of that man, Youngjae was fine with that, it would have been a beautiful death afterlife such miserable and troubled.

For this reason, so, he chooses to stop fighting and stay put, waiting.

He decided that he would’ve passed his last moments to impress on his mind the feature of Yongguk’s face. Since the first time he saw him, he had found him very charming. Despite everything at first glance, he could’ve looked rude, almost scary, but in reality, he was a person with an infinitely good and kind soul, with a smile that could illuminate even the darkest cave. He lived his smile, as much as he loved his voice, so warm and deep, which gave him security and tranquillity. He could never get enough of it. 

As he slowly felt his forces abandon him, he let himself be lulled by those thoughts. He gently raised a hand towards him and placed it on his cheek, caressing it softly, until he passed out, and his arms fell without strength on the floor. 

* * *

Yongguk, for his part, hadn't noticed that he had lost so much control until he found the other unconscious in his arms. 

Lucidity regained, firstly he tried to wake him up, shaking him slightly. He made sure he was still breathing, but he barely did it, his heartbeat was really slow. 

He held him close, while a wave of panic gradually took hold of him. He started screaming and asking for help until someone rushed to help them and call the aid.

***

A couple of hours later he finds himself in front of his bedroom, sitting on the floor, with his knee at his chest and his head in his hands. He didn’t understand what he had just done. What was wrong with him? He was mad, sure, and also a lot. But how he had gone so far?

While he was sitting there, lost in his guilt feelings, he didn’t notice that Himchan had approached him, crouched beside him, and laid a hand on his shoulder. 

He raised his head when he felt shaken and called by him.

“Dude, are you okay? I just finished talking with the paramedics. They said that Youngjae’s fine, he suffered no serious injuries, he’ll only have a sore throat and bruises on his neck for a few days.”

At that words, Yongguk heaved a sigh of relief and he relaxed against the wall where subsequently rested his head, closing his eyes.

“Now I would be grateful if you tell me what the hell happened.” Himchan continued.

Then, Yongguk took a long deep breath and he began to tell how a few hours earlier some of his men, whom he trusted, showed up in his office to complain about how Youngjae, during his absence, had gone around hit on half of the world.

After finishing listening to the short story of Yongguk, Himchan erupted in an uproariously laugh, which died as soon as he noticed the questioning gaze of the other. 

“So you were jealous, uh?”

“It’s absolutely not that. But it’s about him, and how he can’t just go around to flirt with everyone when I’m not around, he’s not in the position to do that.”

Himchan sighed. Sometimes his boss could be really stubborn.

“Well, maybe” - Himchan started - “it’s the case that you know that that poor boy didn’t flirt with anyone. I took him company for almost all week. He did nothing but asking me about you, repeating how much he missed you and some other disgusting thing that now I’m not going to tell. Rather your men, the so-called trusted, were the ones who tried to hit on him more than once during the last days. He rejected them every time, until yesterday when they tried to take him by force. If I hadn’t intervened in time I don’t know what it could’ve happened.”

Once he finished listening to Himchan, Yongguk stiffened and opened his eyes looking at nothing in front of him, with an imperturbable expression.

“What?” - He said with a dark voice, clenching his jaw.

Himchan parted his lips with the intention of repeating itself, but he stopped himself when he saw the other man stand up, adjust his jacket on his shoulders, and call on him once again.

“Call them all in my office.”

Having said that he went away.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dRAMA.  
What do you think? Let me know.   
In the next chapter I'm going to explain some things, so don't worry.
> 
> Now, I wanted just to say that during my hiatus, while I pined for the lack of inspiration and writing skills, I tried to take stock of the situation, and I realized that we're just at the half of this story. This means, that we're still missing 8/9 chapters before the end... maybe more.
> 
> I really hope you've enjoyed this piece of mine until now, and that you're going to stay with me until the very end.
> 
> See you next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is way too short, I know.  
But I've started this half asleep because I was too excited.  
I'm really happy to write this fanfiction that was in my mind for a very long time.  
Hope you'll enjoy it!


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